What Do You Need Right Now?

One of the most meaningful things anybody has done when I’ve been in distress is ask me “What do you need right now?”.

It was so meaningful to me because it made me pause and think about what I believed would help me at that time. This person gave me a chance to tell them that and offered to help me with whatever it was.

By not suggesting fix-it plans or asking me to look at the brighter side of things, they were meeting me where I was in that moment – without expecting me to be someplace else where I had magically forgotten about what caused me distress or where everything was suddenly alright. Ironically, that in itself made me feel better!

It turns out, what I needed that day was to go on a drive, singing along to my favorite songs. So we went and did just that and I was back to being my own self and able to think clearly – no longer in distress.

Their role in my feeling better was them simply asking me what I needed rather than telling me what I needed to do. That was a learning moment for me and it’s something I strive to take forward. So of late, in any conversations with friends who are going through a difficult moment, I resist the urge to jump into problem solving mode or to tell them what worked for me. I simply ask them “Hey…what can I do for you right now?” and they chart their own course back to feeling better.

Coming to think of it, we’ve all survived difficult moments. We know what we need to come out on the other side. But we forget…So sometimes, all it takes is a reminder and a few kind words to pick ourselves up and get back on track.

Being there for somebody can be as simple as that…we don’t even need to think about what the right thing to say or do is…we simply need to ask.

Yours Rawly,